4 Keys to Promote Sexual Values

As an adult sex toy store owner, I have to say, this country is seriously lacking in the sexual values department. I find it very intriguing that while “family values” is constantly in the media, political debate, and considered a societal staple, we don’t really talk about our other core societal values. In our culture and society, it is becoming easier for parents to have the “sex talk,” but what are we actually talking to our kids about? More importantly, what are they getting out of the discussion (and perhaps continued dialogue)?

In the world of social media, YouTube, and access to any and all information on the internet, we have to start thinking about changing the discussion. Teaching kids (and adults for that matter) values that help promote self-confidence, self engagement, self-worth, and yes self-awareness of their own sexuality and sensuality is what we ought to be doing.

This is where parents can make a big difference in their child’s life. Opening and continuing a dialogue about sex doesn’t just start and stop with “the birds and the bees.” It truly needs to go deeper in the teenage years to promote healthy sexual values. This doesn’t necessarily mean promoting sex, but creating an environment where your teenage boys and girls know about their own bodies and boundaries. Talking about puberty, how to resist peer pressure, and how to be safe online is great! The conversation needs to go farther, and it needs to be a continuous discussion.

These are four keys to promoting Sexual Values with your kids: 

 

1. Start the conversation early. Research suggests most parents are starting to have the “sex talk” between ages 10-12.
2. Allow kids to express their own feelings. Engage kids/teenagers in dialogue and discussion about how they are feeling about their own sexuality. Use the things they know – social media, TV, music – to help with this engagement. If something is in the news about this topic, ask your kids what they think about it. This helps them explore and discover their own sexual values.
3. Don’t stop the conversation. Parenting is a marathon not a sprint. Just because you may think the topic has been discussed enough, it doesn’t mean conversation and dialogue has to stop. The worst thing you can say to a teenager is, “if you have questions, let me know.” Kids don’t even want to tell you what they did in school that day. What makes you think they will initiate the discussion? Be proactive, be supportive, and be someone they talk to first.
4. Be honest with your kids. Don’t lie to them. While they think they know everything, they don’t. However, chances are they can smell a rat. Even if you have to think about a response and talk later, make sure it’s an open and honest answer.

Are you a parent who’s begun an ongoing sexual values discussion with their kids? If so, let us know how it’s going.