Back to college season is here. Whether you are beginning your college years or heading back to campus, there a few things that you should know during your college experience. We can all agree there are two MUSTS during college sex. ALWAYS use a CONDOM. CONSENT is ALWAYS required before ANY sexual encounter. That is a must! For young women who do consent to sex with a partner – boyfriend, FWB, or casual hook-up – here are a few thing you should know.
1. Sex is supposed to be Pleasurable.
Sex is enjoyable. Sex is fun. Both women and men should be enjoying the sexual encounter. If you are not having a good experience it is completely okay to talk with your partner about that. Your partner should want you to be enjoying yourself. It doesn’t matter whether you have known your partner for three hours, three weeks, or three years, you have the right to a pleasurable experience. Don’t sell yourself short. Make sure you have an orgasm. If this means telling him to go down on you or that you want to be on top, that is okay. It’s something that women in their 30s wish they had done during their college experience. Be bold. Own it. Demand your orgasms.
2. Your Number Doesn’t Matter.
If you use protection and consent, then who cares how many people you sleep with! It’s totally up to you who you allow access to your vagina. Numbers don’t matter and shouldn’t matter. Men have been sleeping with people and keeping count for years with no stigma. Women shouldn’t be ashamed to share in the pleasure. This is not a blanket statement for college women to jump into every twin x-long they come across, but you should have as many or as few sexual encounters you feel comfortable with. The number is completely up to you.
3. Just because he’s into you, doesn’t mean you must have sex with him.
Again, consent is everything. Perhaps you didn’t hit your stride in high school. Not everyone is used to getting hit on by attractive counterparts. If you find more men/women hitting on you during your college years, it doesn’t mean they are deserving of sex with you. Just because someone thinks your attractive or wants you, doesn’t mean you owe them a damn thing. You have to feel a connection.
4. If he ignores you after sex, he’s not worth it.
Whether it’s a casual thing or not, men who ignore you after you have sex with them are assholes. It’s that simple! These are the guys that sext you late at night instead of publicly flirting with you at a party in front of friends. If he’s sexting you late at night asking if “y up” and you foolishly have sex with him, don’t expect him to show you off to his friends and/or start a relationship. If he ignores your mere existence the next day, you need to chalk it up to experience and never let that happen again with another asshole. If he wants to continue having sex with you late at night when no one is around, you have a choice to make. I hope you set him loose and save your self-worth and self-esteem.
5. Stay healthy.
Protect yourself from STIs and UTIs. We have already established that wearing a condom each and every time is priority number one. Checking your STI status is just as important. Most college campuses have free testing at the health center. If you are sexually active, get tested frequently. Please stay safe. Also, make sure you pee before and after you have sex. Our vaginal and urethra openings are extremely close together. Bacteria can get in there easily. Peeing before and after sex helps to prevent bacteria transmission to the urethra causing UTIs. If you don’t feel well, have yourself checked out. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Your health is paramount.